A BOOK BONUS ON IBUKUN-OLUWA SHIDI SPIFF.....The rare qualities all men must seek in a wife to be-as told by her husband, king Ebi Shidi Epiff

*Published by CERUTTI BOOKS AND MEDIA CONCEPT 

Copyright @ CERUTTI MEDIA GROUP 2019
All right reserved. No part of this publication may be recorded, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the publisher 

FOREWORD AS TRIBUTE BY HER HUSBAND, 

KING EBI SHID-SPIFF

‘Why I commissioned Cerutti Media to do my late wife book'

This  book you are holding is not by accident, I have decided to get the young chief Mike de Cerutti  CEO OF CERUTTI BOOKS AND MEDIA CONCEPT  to carry my thoughts on my late wife for the world to learn that there are still few good women on earth

       We are simply human beings because give or take we will all die one day for without the five-letter word called death, we human beings could have been regarded as something else

So to put it succinctly, death remains that factor that defines our humanness, and it is most pathetic that these days death surrounds me face to face and still remains my strange bedfellow, whispering sweet nothing to my ears even when I force myself to sleep
Six weeks ago, precisely on 7th June, I had the misfortune of losing one of the most influential, most prized, most affectionate and most precious person in my life, my wife and best friend Ibukun- Oluwa Eno, in what can be customarily described in the usual ‘ after a brief illness’’, but in my opinion, that phrase diminishes the awesomeness of death a necessary evil and prevents one from coming to term with the deep sorrow that death brings

As I wallow in this deep sorrow called death, I am once again reminded of the truth in William Shakespeare song on death* “Come away, come away, death”
(from Twelfth Night)
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid.
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O, prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower sweet,
on my black coffin let there be strown.
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown.
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there!
On sighting this poem, I Suddenly had one prayer in my mind, and that is may God unmask this sorrow called death and show us laughter from this well of tears, this is my greatest wish in this trying times as I mourn my beloved wife and friend

The dark day of June 7th is still a days whose memories still linger in my heart, as that was the day I lost my wife and the best friend a man could ever hope for
Thus passed the worst morning of my life. The only word to describe what we, the family, were feeling was desolation. I always thought we’d had a pact, Ibukun-Oluwa and I, that I would die first, but I should have known she’d have the last word. She usually did, sometimes because I let her, often because she insisted on it. We meet in Abuja in 2008 January and.
We were married a few months later and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
She was beautiful, witty, highly intelligent, quirky, VERY Godly and always immense fun to be with. She was a devoted wife, mother and godmother to many and she was also — this is not just my opinion — one of the most gifted intellectual or novelists around.

Under her married name, Ibukun-Oluwa Eno Shidi-Spiff in a resume which she handed to me before her untimely death, the summary read
· A graduate professional with an eye o the future with great potential
· A good team player who can work under pressure
· A highly motivated and intelligent individual with strong analytical skill
· A business-oriented and hardworking person who gains personal satisfaction in meeting corporate goals

·       IBUKUN· A PERFORMANCE DRIVEN INDIVIDUAL WITH THE ABILITY TO MAINTAIN HIGHLY MOTIVATED STAFF

Indeed, her focus in the last couple of years has been on identifying business opportunities in the public sector backed by an immense understanding of the Nigeria and global business environment

Ibukun-Oluwa was born on October 22 1975, and from her early days has always been a focused in her academic pursuit, and that attention to her school details was chief reason why she was never seen participating in sports or some Night club or parties habit like most student of today will do

She had her nursery and primary education at Corona nursery and primary school, Gbagada, Lagos from 1981- 1986, and her secondary education in FGGC, Sagamu, Ogun State from 1986-1992 before proceeding to the Ondo State university, Ado Ekiti for her Bchelor of science(B.Sc) Industrial and Organizational Psychology 1994-1998, which she was to cap with a Masters degree in International LAW/Diplomacy in 2000-2001
She was a better writer and reader than me — and that’s not easy for a woman who have the home front and children to look after But it was true, though sometimes she found it difficult to believe that she was any good at all.

As I embrace the torturous sorrow of my wife death, the thoughts of our years together-though shot but eventful, the thoughts of those years bring to my heart William Shakespeare poem and I agree the writer was right
May I say, if there is anything I will miss so much about my wife is her calm nature, love for GOD, her teachable heart, how she sees me as not just a father figure but as friend, and for sure her dress sense is perhaps a factor that will forever knock me down for the rest of my life

Her daily routine is another thing I will miss so badly for it was regimented and there was nothing I could do to make her deviate from it. She had time for her morning prayers and Bible studies and often urge me to join her, she had time to drink water daily, a time to drink juice or at some rare occasion black coffee or her favorite fruit paw-paw
Anything that interfered with this daily routine offended her immensely and the activities on her daily routine she liked to perform personally , not minding the house-helps at home
I can go on and on and on, but in summary, this is the legacy of my beloved wife , whose death on JUNE 7TH 2014, I regard as a night's sleep. For as Mahatma Gandhi put it “Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”
For if wishes were horses, I will hope for an Ibikun-Oluwa rebirth. But as promised in the Holy Book, my wife will arise again and shall be fresh and strong
R.I.P IBUKUN!!
I love you eternally, from your beloved husband, Ebi Shidi-Spiff 

·      

 

PART TWO

TOUCHING QUOTE ON EARLY DEATH

· “There is nothing more painful than the untimely death of someone young and dear to the heart. The harrowing grief surges from a bottomless well of sorrow, drowning the mourner in a torrent of agonizing pain; an exquisite pain that continues to afflict the mourner with heartache and loneliness long after the deceased is buried and gone.”
― Jocelyn Murray, Khu: A Tale of Ancient Egypt

· “Unless a writer is extremely old when he dies, in which case he has probably become a neglected institution, his death must always be seen as untimely. This is because a real writer is always shifting and changing and searching. The world has many labels for him, of which the most treacherous is the label of 'Success.”
― James Baldwin

· * “Save your mind from a premature death by always learning something new no matter your age! Think every day, but make sure it's not within the perimeter of the box! Think outside the box!”
― Israelmore Ayivor, The Great Hand Book of Quotes

· * “He died, as the Spanish phrase has it, full of illusions. He had not had time in his life to lose any of them, nor even, at the end, to complete an act of contrition. He had not even had time to be disappointed in the Garbo picture which disappointed all Madrid for a week."

(The Capital of the World)”
― Ernest Hemingway, The Fifth Column and Four Stories of the Spanish Civil W

· * “The Voyager

We are all lonely voyagers sailing on life's ebb tide,
To a far off place were all stripling warriors have died,
Sometime at eve when the tide is low,
The voices call us back to the rippling water's flow,
Even though our boat sailed with love in our hearts,
Neither our dreams or plans would keep heaven far apart,
We drift through the hush of God's twilight pale,
With no response to our friendly hail,
We raise our sails and search for majestic light,
While finding company on this journey to the brighten our night,
Then suddenly he pulls us through the reef's cutting sea,
Back to the place that he asked us to be,
Friendly barges that were anchored so sweetly near,
In silent sorrow they drop their salted tears,
Shall our soul be a feast of kelp and brine,
The wasted tales of wishful time,
Are we a fish on a line lured with bait,
Is life the grind, a heartless fate,
Suddenly, "HUSH", said the wind from afar,
Have you not looked to the heavens and seen the new star,
It danced on the abyss of the evening sky,
The sparkle of heaven shining on high,
Its whisper echoed on the ocean's spray,
From the bow to the mast they heard him say,
"Hope is above, not found in the deep,
I am alive in your memories and dreams when you sleep,
I will greet you at sunset and with the moon's evening smile,
I will light your path home.. every last lonely mile,
My friends, have no fear, my work was done well,
In this life I broke the waves and rode the swell,
I found faith in those that I called my crew,
My love will be the compass that will see you through,
So don't look for me on the ocean's floor to find,
I've never left the weathered docks of your loving mind,
For I am in the moon, the wind and the whale's evening song,
I am the sailor of eternity whose voyage is not gone.”
― Shannon L. Alder

·  

PART THREE: QUALITIES EVERY MAN MUST LOOK FOR IN WIFE

In his frank view, King Ebi Shidi Spiff told us five qualities that made him went head over the hill for his late wife and what all men must look for in a wife

·     

IBUKUN-OLUWA: 

PORTRAIT OF A GODLY WIFE

I have never seen a lady like my late wife, the King told us. And what does it mean to be godly wife? We asked? To be a godly wife, we must first consider what the word godly means; the Bible for example   uses the word in conjunction with being “peaceful,” “quiet,” and “dignified.” The Bible says the Spirit, who is in every believer, produces visible and invisible acts of godliness, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness”

The decisive definition of godliness would be Christ like. Godliness involves a genuine striving to imitate Christ, to be like Him in thought and action these characteristics of a godly disposition apply to every believer, whether male or female. Fortunately, the Bible gives more specific qualifications as to what a godly woman—particularly, a godly wife—looks like.

The virtues of a godly wife have not changed, even over thousands of years. A godly wife is one who has the complete trust of her husband. He doesn’t have to worry she will be tempted by the wiles of another man, overcharge the credit cards, or spend all day watching soap operas. He knows she is dignified, wise, and devoted He is confident of her support and sincere love because she is not vindictive or critical. Her husband has a good reputation in the community, and his wife never speaks ill of him, never gossips about him. Rather, she is always lifting him up and giving him praise. She maintains the household thoroughly and is well respected herself we were told in proverbs and these are things I enjoyed in my late wife
She  spends less time in front of the mirror than in sharing her goods with the poor and needy because she is selfless and benevolent But she doesn’t neglect herself; she keeps her body and spirit strong and in good health. Although she works hard and keeps long hours, she is not haggard; she cares about beautiful things to enhance herself and her family

Finally, a godly wife should be submissive to her husband what does a submissive wife look like? Simple, a submissive wife is not less valuable as a human being; her role is not less important—but it is different. Christians know that Christ is every bit as divine as the Father (and the Holy Spirit), but each plays a different role in redemption. In the same way, men and women each play a different part in marriage. So, for a wife to be submissive to her husband as Christ is submissive to the Father means she willingly allows her husband to lead. Know there is no such thing as human perfection). But as a wife grows more intimate in her relationship with Christ, she will grow increasingly godly in her marriage. I can go on and on, but in summary I met in her what Bible says of a true wife, I will miss her Godly nature so much

 * ENTER THE QUALITIES OF GOOD WIFE TO LEARN FROM IBUKUN

1:  Prayerful/God loving. I think this is the most important. A virtuous wife prays for her spouse, but it doesn’t stop there. She prays diligently, without ceasing. She prays selflessly, not praying for what’s in her best interest, but in what’s God’s best for him. A virtuous wife knows her best contribution to her husband is her prayer life for him. She knows that in so many instances she cannot change circumstances or change her spouse, but that nothing is impossible with God. 

There are so many characteristics of a virtuous wife, and I only mentioned a handful in this post. I would encourage you to read over Proverbs 31, as I’ll include it below, and ask God to speak to your heart about how you can strive to be a more virtuous wife, mother, and woman. I know that personally I fall short in so many ways, but my desire is to continually seek how I may become a better representation of Christ in my daily interactions with others. And I know that it starts in my own home……….and that is IBUKUN FOR YOU,Spiff said

SUPER TIPS

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 [a] A wife of noble character who can find
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him well, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

*2 Helpmate. Wives are called to be a helpmate, and this call to companionship is of extreme importance. A helpmate is a team player in the marriage, and a helpmate understands that each partner in the holy union must give all of themselves to further the relationship. It’s not a 50/50 kind of deal, but more like a 100/100. A helpmate understands that someday their partner may not be at their best, but it is in these instances that a true companion steps in to pick up the slack………..THIS FACTOR KING SPIFF WARNED IS VERY VITAL IN CHOOSING A WIFE

*3Trusts. Ibukun was a woman of great trust and I do believe that trust is something that must be built, and it is also something that must be maintained, but too often in relationships women find it difficult to trust. Due to instances where they have been hurt by a man, be it a father figure or another relationship, many women find trust a difficult characteristic to walk in. Their past pain makes them untrusting, but God calls us to put faith in our marriage. Some men are untrustworthy, but all of them are not. We must be willing to surrender our hearts completely to our husbands, and put faith in their actions. Ibukun died as a virtuous woman who places her trust in The Lord, and I WANT TO RECOMMEND FOR ALL MWEN TO LOOK FOR TRUST IN A WIFE POTENTIAL

*4 she’s Selfless

Here King Spiff warns “Never overlook a woman who is selfless. You know you’ve found a good woman when she really values others. A selfless woman always puts other people’s wishes, interests or aspirations first because she values others. Look at the way she treats her family and friends. Giving to others comes naturally to her. She finds happiness in giving away her energy; time and hard earned money, even to those who need help but don’t ask for it, she’s the epitome of selfless. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. Some questions to ask you: Does she care about other causes? Does she go out and volunteer? Does she give change to the needy or buy them a meal? These are important characteristics to consider, they are all I saw in my late wife Ibukun

*5 She Gets Along with Your Friends and Family

She’s gone to great beyond, but her life style is worth celebrating, so today I beg to warn singles to Never overlook a woman who gets along with your friends and family. A great woman will make an effort to get to know your people. She’ll help your parents out at Thanksgiving, try to understand your brother’s twisted sense of humor and want to get to know your friends. If she doesn’t even try to connect with your family and friends, let her go. She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been loyal to you throughout your life. There might be some cases where your mom doesn’t like your future wife, and that may require your intervention, but in general, she should be a good fit with the people in your life. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person and that is what I ENJOYED WITH Ibukun

6 She loves me unconditionally

In this point, KING spiff was most categorical when he said that “Unconditional love is often reserved for children and family members. People tend to believe that glorious ‘true love’ relationships are elusive, but we have the power to turn our own relationships into just that. A good wife will love you the way you are. Unconditional love in essence is true love so different from the kind of love most of have known all our lives that it deserves a definition of its own. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. There may be minor adjustments along the way but if she nags you about your core characteristics, it won’t get any better in marriage. You deserve to be with a woman who loves you just the way you are. If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on, my late wife never tried to change me; she took me as IS AND LOVED ME

·       7 A GOOD MANAGER OF HER MONEY

Being a good money manager means you have to stay on top of your finances all the time, was King SPIFF frank view and he said this was what he found in his wife

“She was a good financial manager at home who always creates a monthly budget. Even if your wife earn a small income monthly, it doesn’t mean there is no need to plan for it-Yukon was good planner and she once revealed to some young singles that they all need a budget most, since they have very little or even no left-over cash that can go to savings which could eventually be utilized for a healthier financial future.

*KING SPIFF’S FINAL WORD: Seeking God First

As you begin to pray for your future wife, choose to commit your life to seeking God first, and you will start to feel the pressure and the burden of looking for the right girl lift off your shoulders. He will bring His perfect desire to pass in your life. As long as your eyes are on Him first, He won’t steer you in the wrong direction. The more you focus on Him, the more obvious His will for you and your future wife will become. He’ll give you the discernment so that you’ll know it when you meet her. I’ve prayed and asked Him to take away the burden of trying to find the right girl on my own, and have asked Him to bring the right woman across my path in His timing. Since I’ve given that task back to Him, life has just felt a lot brighter, and quite frankly, it’s been a lot more fun too. I’ve also noticed that the more I seek Him and take delight in Him; I’ve begun to forget that I was then actually single. I used to think about my singleness and loneliness quite often (which is probably what sent me chasing after the wrong girls to begin with), but ever since I started genuinely focusing on seeking Him, I’ve found that I’m really enjoying this “bro time” with just God until He brought IBUKUN To my life. Men must learn to pray without ceasing for good wife

ABOUT the AUTHOR....

• The Africa's word smith, Mike Cerutti  Osagie 
( aka " Czar of Letters") is a Human Evangelist and symbol of the very captivating " Grass to Grace " Successful people / renaissance role model secret to success researcher and connoisseur- who is continually setting standard for global youths on need to always apply massive work ethics in all they do

Originally a sports writer, before being converted to a luxury/ lifestyle word smith, by leading publisher and his mentor, Chief Nduka Ogbaigbena,

the Chairman and Editor-In-Chief, THISDAY newspapers

Osagie has since then, expanded his writing philosophies to deeper frontiers from style to business, politics, Long essays and inspirational master pieces

An avid reader who is in love with serenity, De Cerutti from the word go has always been on the wings, and is currently the reining Nigeria's best prolific celebrity writer and best favorite teens young charity personality award winner for his tireless efforts in spotlighting the plight of the blind and orphans in our society today

After a brief and still ongoing career as a professional writer , Cerutti Osagie just recently bagged a new degree in Theology from the Two Witness Institute, Michigan, USA and consequently ordained as an Evangelist and speaker of word of hope

His latest book , The rare qualities all men must seek in a wife to be-as told by her husband, king Ebi Shidi Epiff is a life changing pragmatic research project 

Beyond being an author,Osagie is also an Image management ,Speaker of hope to the depressed , and a rising  entrepreneur

 His works and previous books can be viewed via : www.worldindustryleaders.blogspot.com

www.ceruttimediaandbooks.wordpress.com

·         De Cerutti can be contacted via :chiefcerrutti@gmail.com

·         +234 7042631895

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